Welcome "home".

Over the next few weeks, many students will return from life-changing summers overseas and begin transitioning back into "normal" life.

The problem is that life will never be "normal" again, or at least I pray that it won't be. They inevitably will be greeted by many well-meaning "Welcome homes" and "I bet you are so happy to be home", which will most likely be returned with a forced smile, a simple thank you, while internally pondering the meaning of home. Please don't think that they aren't grateful that God has brought them safely back to family & friends. It's this weird mix of being happy to be reunited with family & friends but at the same time, realizing that they have left a huge part of their heart across the ocean.

They will be cold all the time. Tears may well up in their eyes a lot more frequently than they used to. They will have a hard time spending money. They may cry at the sight of the people or the sound of the language from the countries where they served. As they move back to college, they may take weeks to unpack because they are overwhelmed with how much "stuff" they have. They will desperately want to share stories from their summer, but may not know how to do so. They will sit in their classrooms but their minds will be in a place far away. Mundane tasks will seem meaningless. They will wonder if God can really use them here like He did over there. If He can really work in as big of ways here as He did there.
But, God. He heals the brokenhearted. He told us this wouldn't be easy. He wants us to share His story & our stories. He extends so much grace to us & wants us to do the same for others who may not understand. He says for everything there is a season. He has us here for the time being for a reason: to make disciples of ALL nations. He has brought the nations to our backyards. He sends us encouragers & people to encourage. He may even send us people from the same people groups that we worked with overseas.

For those welcoming these students back, please love them & show them a lot of grace. Sit down and ask to hear their stories & listen. Pray with them and for them as they navigate life back in the U.S. & as the Lord shows them next steps. Pray about how God wants to use you to serve the nations both here & overseas.

Ruined

Going overseas ruined me.

It ruined the way I eat soup...
I can no longer eat soup without slurping or at least not without a very concentrated effort not to.

It ruined the way I cross the street...
I sometimes walk out in front of cars expecting them to simply move around me.

It ruined the way I wave someone to "come here"...palms down always.

It ruined my ability to drink American coffee...kidding, my love of coffee is way too *strong* for that to ever happen, but I will forever think cà phê sữa đá is far superior to all other coffee.

It ruined the way I see the world...

It ruined me in a way that sometimes I miss being overseas so much it hurts.

It ruined me because I can no longer claim that I didn't know of suffering around the world...suffering of all kinds, but the most devastating one being eternal suffering.

It ruined me because I can no longer hear the fact that over 2 billion people still have little to no Gospel access without having a flood of images of the so many beautiful but lost people I met overseas play over and over in my mind.

It ruined my plans, hopes, and dreams...and I could not be more thankful.

I can't think of any other cause I'd rather be ruined for than the cause of Christ. Will it be costly? Absolutely, but so was the cross.

Lord, continue to ruin me for the advancement of Your Kingdom.

Matthew 16:24-25 Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it."

Lights, Camera, Action!

Acts 4:20 As for us, we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard. 

This particular Saturday in Southeast Asia last summer had God written all over it.

(Originally written in June 2015, with some minor edits)

Our day began by meeting our friend, D, at the movie theater because he wanted us to see the movie, Spy. Unfortunately, the movie was sold out when we got there. We decided to see the next soonest movie since D had to go to lecture later in the afternoon (yes, on a Saturday). The next soonest movie was San Andreas which is a movie about a giant earthquake and tsunami. I have to admit I wasn't thrilled about seeing such an intense, scary movie, but it was all part of God's plan for the day and for that I am so thankful! 

After we watched the movie, we decided to get something to eat at the concessions which is more like a big cafeteria. We got our food and were looking for a place to sit but every table was full. I looked around for a few minutes and finally saw just enough open seats in the middle of a long table. We began to sit down and all of a sudden, to my right I recognize a group of Truman students! They are from this city and are just home for the summer. We were so shocked to see each other in a city of 7.5 million people! This led to several more meetings and good conversations with this group of familiar faces from my home university. 

While I was talking to my Truman friends, my teammates told me that D had decided to skip his lecture to see another showing of the movie, Spy. We were so excited but made sure to tell him not to make skipping class a habit. :) We had some time before the movie started so we sat and talked. We were talking about spaghetti of all things when all of a sudden D asks us if we have ever seen a ghost. This opened up conversation to talk about God's story, our stories, and our friend's story. 

After movie #2 for the day, we saw that the formerly sunny skies were now filled with a storm that looked eerily similar to the San Andreas movie. We watched the storm unfold from inside the theater with many people who were also taking shelter inside. The rain and wind were so strong and we saw signs falling off of buildings. Water was leaking through the roof and flooding in through the sliding glass doors. The rain eventually died down a little bit, but for some reason I felt that we should still wait before we attempted to head home. When we decided to finally go outside, we step out to the road and see that a giant power line is laying across the street where our bus stop was. We walked up the street to another bus stop and there was a giant tree that was laying across that street. After some walking, we found a bus stop with a bus that could take us pretty close to home. On the way home, we saw many more trees uprooted and power lines down. We are still not really sure what happened although we heard that it might have been a tornado and three people were killed. 

Waiting out the scary storm

One of many uprooted trees in the city

I'm glad Ash stopped to take this awesome picture because a big metal beam fell off a building right in front of us as soon as we started walking again. 

We got back to our hotel in the evening and the electricity was out in the entire area. We walked down our alley and a single candle lit each shop that was filled with many people. We could see the light from the candle from a ways away, but when we came closer and looked into each store it was still very dark. God used this picture to remind me that we are lights in this very dark place. Our very presence here (because of the Holy Spirit living in us) disrupts the darkness. We are here, but we are only a few. There are only so many people that we can meet and talk to. The single candle in each shop does give off a lot of light on its own, but can you imagine how much light 100 candles would give off in each small but crowded shop? And how much easier it would be to move, work, and see in more light? The Lord also used this image to open my eyes to the need for more workers here and the many other hard to reach places around the world. Think of how many more people could hear the story of Christ's love for them if there were simply more people to tell them! 

Luke 10:2 He told them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.

Matthew 5:14-16 "You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." 

Christmas in July

Last week, I was driving home from work and listening to Christmas music on the radio and was instantly taken back to one particular evening in my favorite coffeeshop in Southeast Asia. We spent a lot of time in this particular coffeeshop, consuming more iced coffee, tea, and smoothies than we probably should have. Sometimes we would hang out there simply because it had air con, fans, and ice- a nice relief for the scorching heat and humidity. Other times, we would go there because we didn't have any other plans and just weren't sure what else to do.

One day, my teammates and I were just sitting there staring at each other, running out of things to talk about, when I finally suggested that since we spend so much time at the coffeeshop, we should get to know the workers! I'm not sure why this hadn't crossed our minds before, but it may, in part, be due to the fact that the workers never spoke English to us so we assumed that they didn't speak any English. It turns out that they spoke quite a bit of English but had just been too "shy" to talk to us. We ended up building a friendship with them that was mostly based on laughter (those boys are hilarious) and would go to that coffeeshop during the afternoon (when business was slow) specifically to hang out with them. We had shared a couple of random stories from the Bible which they thought were cool, but that was about the extent of that. One day, as a team, we decided that we needed to start praying more boldly and more specifically, rather than generally.

Shortly after making that decision, we were once again hanging out in our favorite coffee shop when, all of a sudden, "Silent Night" starts playing overhead. This was extremely surprising because 1) it was the middle of July, and 2) you don't hear songs about God in this country. The coffeeshop workers are the ones who choose which song will play next as they typically just search different songs on YouTube. We excitedly ran up to the counter and I told the coffeeshop boy, "Hey, I love this song!", and then asked him if he knew what it was about. He thought about it for a second and then proceeded to tell us that he thought the song was about "a boy breaking up with a girl". :)  Trying not to laugh, I acknowledged his clever thought, and told him that I could tell him what the song was really about! We then got to share the meaning of "Silent Night", then the meaning of Christmas, which led into sharing the whole Gospel message. Our coffeeshop boy listened intently to the stories, but did not ask many questions. Afterwards, we shared some more of our favorite Christmas songs and he looked up the lyrics to each one and read and listened as we explained what they all meant. It was such a sweet, sweet time. The coffeeshop boy may not have made any sort of decision that afternoon, but he came one step closer...he heard the greatest news of all time for the very first time!

As we were heading home that day, my teammate, A, said she had been silently praying for a specific opportunity to be able to share with those boys just minutes before Silent Night (randomly, but not so randomly) started playing! God is so good and I can tell you without a doubt that He answers prayers. I learned to pray specifically, pray boldly, and have faith that God is big enough to answer prayers. This Christmas season, and even throughout the upcoming year (July, maybe?), I encourage you to pray for opportunities to share the story of Jesus' birth with someone who has not yet had the chance to hear!

Songs about Water & Life on a Lake

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders" 

After living in the middle of a giant lake all summer, songs about water hold a new meaning for me.  Before I even knew where I was going this summer, a beautiful song that sings symbolically about water,"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)", was on repeat on my computer and on repeat in my heart. The bridge of the song says, "Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders".  This was my prayer as I considered applying for a m-trip this summer.

In January, I found out which country I would be going to! For the application, I had to list three preferences of countries and projects.  I had applied to two projects in Thailand and one in the Philippines.  I was surprised to see that the country I got placed in was neither one of those places.  It didn't matter to me though, because I was thrilled for this placement in Cambodia! I just assumed that the projects I applied for had already filled up or something. Fast forward to April, about one month until I left for the summer.  I, for some reason, looked back at my application which I had saved on my computer.  The first thing I see were my preferences, one of which said "Cambodia"---what?!? I definitely applied for two Thailands and one Philippines, but what I saw was the two Thailand projects and the Cambodia project.  I even had to write short essays on why I chose the programs and, sure enough, I wrote "I want to go to the Philippines because..".  I was so confused because there was no way that I could have accidentally wrote the wrong project with the way it was set up.  After trying to think of all the ways that I could have messed it up, I finally came to the conclusion that it wasn't me at all, but had to have been a God thing!

"Take me deeper than feet could ever wander"

I had actually thought the Cambodia trip looked really cool, but I had to narrow it down somehow and my mom said that this project looked scarier than the others. In the back of my mind, I'm thinking, "yeah that's kind of what I want, but maybe I shouldn't." I definitely didn't wander to Cambodia on my own. I was scared, but God took my feet deeper than I could have wandered on my own. I fully believe that God wanted me in Cambodia this past summer and I am so thankful that He brought me there.

"You call me out upon the waters"

Obviously this song is symbolic, but for me and my team, this song was symbolically as well as literally true. God literally called us out to live upon the waters in a floating village this past summer and be a small part in sharing the His story with an unreached people group. We taught English to our new brothers and sisters/translators and tried to set an example for them of what it looks like to follow the Lord on a daily basis even though I think they taught us more than we taught them. They also taught us their language and so much more. Another thing we did a lot of  is prayer paddle. We paddled around the village which is filled with ancestor worship and fear of spirits and prayed for the villagers' salvation. Through this, I learned the power of His name. In the U.S., spiritual warfare is not as obvious because it exists in more subtle forms. In Cambodia, the darkness is very obvious and you can almost feel the heaviness. We prayed with authority knowing that our God is powerful and is the ultimate victor in this story. 

"When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace"

The lake is the biggest fresh body of water in Southeast Asia (I think). It is also rumored to be the lake with the most snakes in it...there is now at least one less though, because a large python was our dinner one night. Another thing about the lake is that it expands from about 1,600 square miles to 15,290 and from 3 feet deep to 29 feet deep during rainy season. We got there at the beginning of rainy season so we experienced the dramatic expansion of the lake. When we very first went out to the lake, our boat got stuck because the water was so shallow.

Change is something that characterizes the people on the lake's lives. The people on the lake move their houseboats with the rise and fall of the lake. When the lake is shallow, the boats are tied up to a mooring, which consisted of bamboo stakes. When the lake starts to rise, they pull up the stakes and move their houses and families more inland and tie their houses to the trees. The entire village moves within the span of a few days. This happened multiple times throughout the summer. As the waters literally and figuratively rise, we, as believers, can truly rest in His embrace because He is our constant, our rock that we can cling to. We prayed that all of the villagers would also come to know this security in the Lord in the midst of change. 

"My faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior" 

So a year has gone by since I first started praying this prayer and I have learned so much about surrender and trusting in the Lord, but I continually pray that God would lead me to where my trust is without borders. Full trust in God is not something that just happens one time and then is easy from that point on. Trusting in the Lord is a daily, sometimes even an hourly, moment by moment thing. I pray this, knowing full well that letting go of control and learning to trust is sometimes a painful and confusing process. It is full of unknowns and that is okay! Trusting does not equal understanding.  Proverbs 3:5 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." I always focused on the "trust" part and neglected to see the importance of the "lean not on your own understanding" part until recently. Even though not knowing or understanding exactly what God is doing or where He will take you can be scary, there is such peace when you choose to simply trust and allow God to grow and teach you through the process. Imagine what amazing things can happen when we truly trust Him with our whole lives!

"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown where feet may fail

And there I find You in the mystery

In oceans deep

My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand

Will be my guide

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your name

Keep my eyes above the waves

My soul will rest in Your embrace

I am Yours and You are mine

One Year Ago...

One year ago today...I was on an airplane in route to one of the greatest adventures in my life thus far: studying abroad in Czech Republic!

I am still in denial that it really has been one year since I began my adventure.  The past 12 months have been absolutely remarkable.  That is not to say that the past 12 months were without rough patches though. People said that studying abroad would be hard and yes, at times it was.  For me, the hardest part about studying abroad, by far, is coming home.  I have seen it called "Post Study Abroad Depression" and it is a real thing!  I certainly did not expect this to happen to me because I was beyond excited to come back and be reunited my family, friends, and country!  Even though I thoroughly enjoyed being home,  a huge piece of my heart was and still is in Europe.  I miss my friends who became family.  I miss walking to the tram stop and using public transportation.  I miss the smells of the brewery down the street from my dorm and the smell of baked goods as I walked through the city center.  I miss not being able to understand the language and getting to use the little bit of Czech I had learned.  I miss every day being an adventure. 

It wasn't easy adjusting back to life here after my incredible almost 5 months in Europe.  Thankfully, my God saw every tear that I cried and desired to heal my broken heart.  The semester before my semester in Czech, He began to prepare me for international ministry.  The Christian organization (CCF) that I am a part of has an international ministry that I did not know much about before my sophomore year.  Fall semester of sophomore year, I began attending Coffeehouse (a casual event on Friday nights for international students) and helping drive international students to Walmart trips on Saturdays.  Through this, I learned a little about the ministry and about who is behind it.  The group who organizes both of these events and more is called International Focus Group (IFG).  IFG is a group of Christian students who share a common goal of ministering to the international students on our campus.  IFG is led by a wonderful couple, Stephanie and Keevin.  I was really interested in being a part of this ministry and was kind of bummed that I had to leave for a semester.  While I was in Czech, I applied and was accepted to be an IFG member for the fall semester when I got back.

God totally knew what He was doing when He started preparing me for international ministry before I even left for Czech Republic.  I have been incredibly blessed through being a part of IFG.  God has used this experience in IFG as a part of my healing process.  Through IFG, I have experienced an awesome Christian community, had discipleship with Stephanie who totally understood and helped me through reverse culture shock, and have gotten to build friendships with really cool people from all over the world! 

IFG! 

International + American students at International Idol 

What I've been learning as of late...
- Wherever you are, every day can be an adventure if you choose to make it one

- Enjoy the present. Don't spend too much time wishing you were still in the past.  If you do, you will miss out on the beautiful blessings of the present.
- Holding on too tight to the past is making the past an idol

- It is good to experience brokenness and allow the Lord to restore you

 The beginning 

My first look at the beautiful country of Czech Republic

First moments in Czech...my friend Natty, who I hadn't seen in 3 years, picked me up from the airport!

& the end

The sun setting on my last night in Czech Republic

At the bus stop with my amazing friends who took me to the bus station (before the tears)

So even though I still miss my time in Czech like crazy and I won't ever be "over it", I am incredibly thankful for the place I am at and the people I am with right now.  I am trying to treasure every moment because I know that this season of my life will too come to an end.  I am also very thankful for the future places and people God will lead me to in the very near future! 

Para- Para- Paradise {Czech Trip}

The "Czech Paradise" trip was a trip around several towns in Bohemia (eastern Czech Republic).  Our first stop was a small town with the name of Litomyšl (sounds kind of like "Little Michelle ha!).  Here we toured the Renaissance Chateau which is a UNESCO site.  We were able to walk around the town and explore a little bit as well as eat lunch.

Litomyšl

Renaissance Chateau 

Next, we headed to my favorite part of the trip: the open-air museum in Piletice!  I didn't really know what to expect here, but I was pleasantly surprised.  We were greeted by an older Czech couple in traditional Czech clothing.  They did not speak English, so they greeted us by action and not by words.  They greeted us in typical Czech manor by offering us a piece of bread dipped in salt upon entering the museum.  

The open-air museum showed us how the Czech people lived years ago as well as a few traditions that are still practiced today.  The best part was that we had the opportunity of practicing some of their traditions.  I had the privilege of learning (by watching- no English spoken) how to paint eggs with wax paint as well as how to braid the willow branches to create the stick that the guys hit girls with on Easter!

A little apprehensive because I wasn't sure what she was saying or if I was allowed to keep the egg lol!

Adding the final touches to the willow branches- the ribbons!

After this quaint little place, we went to the home of the Czech equivalent to Mickey Mouse: Rumcajs!

"Shoemaker Rumcajs" 

The man himself- Rumcajs! (& his crew)

The town that is home to Rumcajs (Jičín) is also home to some beautiful sights!  The best views almost always require walking up many steep, old, rickety stairs.   Jičín was no different.  The stairs are always worth it though to see the beautiful views! 

 Here are some views from the top of a tower in Jičín: 

After all that hard work of climbing those stairs, we all decided to get ice cream cones in which mine promptly jumped to the ground.  It was one of the sadder moments in my life although I think it was probably God's way of telling me that I did not need any more sugar that day.  

Losing one's ice cream is emotionally draining, so it was a good thing we were headed to our cabins for the night next!  We stayed in these super cute cabins which was definitely a nice change from the ever so popular European hostel.  The cabins were in the middle of nowhere, but they also had a restaurant there that we hung out in for the remainder of the night. 

Saturday, we set out towards the town of Kutná Hora which is home to the famous "Church of Bones".  You can see that it is appropriately named.

As interesting as this was, I much preferred the other famous church in this town, St. Barbara's Cathedral.

Sidenote: It was also unexpectedly cold (not sure why we weren't expecting it by this point), so most of us did not have appropriate clothing for the weather.  Cold was a pretty common occurrence during the extent of my stay in Europe.  I learned many things from this experience, but I think the most important is that hot chocolate is indeed a means of survival at times.  

Thankfully the next day held significantly improved weather!  This worked out perfectly because we went hiking in the Prachov rock formations!  This was also probably tied for my favorite part of the trip.  It was a pretty decent hike with some great views once again!

The remainder of the trip looked something like this: 

• We saw another cool castle!

• Michelle barely escaped with her head! (& we also toured a torture museum inside) 

• ...& I took a shameless selfie on castle grounds!

All in all, a fantastic trip seeing and learning even more about my paradise-like country of residence for 5 months. :)