"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders"
After living in the middle of a giant lake all summer, songs about water hold a new meaning for me. Before I even knew where I was going this summer, a beautiful song that sings symbolically about water,"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)", was on repeat on my computer and on repeat in my heart. The bridge of the song says, "Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders". This was my prayer as I considered applying for a m-trip this summer.
In January, I found out which country I would be going to! For the application, I had to list three preferences of countries and projects. I had applied to two projects in Thailand and one in the Philippines. I was surprised to see that the country I got placed in was neither one of those places. It didn't matter to me though, because I was thrilled for this placement in Cambodia! I just assumed that the projects I applied for had already filled up or something. Fast forward to April, about one month until I left for the summer. I, for some reason, looked back at my application which I had saved on my computer. The first thing I see were my preferences, one of which said "Cambodia"---what?!? I definitely applied for two Thailands and one Philippines, but what I saw was the two Thailand projects and the Cambodia project. I even had to write short essays on why I chose the programs and, sure enough, I wrote "I want to go to the Philippines because..". I was so confused because there was no way that I could have accidentally wrote the wrong project with the way it was set up. After trying to think of all the ways that I could have messed it up, I finally came to the conclusion that it wasn't me at all, but had to have been a God thing!
"Take me deeper than feet could ever wander"
I had actually thought the Cambodia trip looked really cool, but I had to narrow it down somehow and my mom said that this project looked scarier than the others. In the back of my mind, I'm thinking, "yeah that's kind of what I want, but maybe I shouldn't." I definitely didn't wander to Cambodia on my own. I was scared, but God took my feet deeper than I could have wandered on my own. I fully believe that God wanted me in Cambodia this past summer and I am so thankful that He brought me there.
"You call me out upon the waters"
Obviously this song is symbolic, but for me and my team, this song was symbolically as well as literally true. God literally called us out to live upon the waters in a floating village this past summer and be a small part in sharing the His story with an unreached people group. We taught English to our new brothers and sisters/translators and tried to set an example for them of what it looks like to follow the Lord on a daily basis even though I think they taught us more than we taught them. They also taught us their language and so much more. Another thing we did a lot of is prayer paddle. We paddled around the village which is filled with ancestor worship and fear of spirits and prayed for the villagers' salvation. Through this, I learned the power of His name. In the U.S., spiritual warfare is not as obvious because it exists in more subtle forms. In Cambodia, the darkness is very obvious and you can almost feel the heaviness. We prayed with authority knowing that our God is powerful and is the ultimate victor in this story.
"When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace"
The lake is the biggest fresh body of water in Southeast Asia (I think). It is also rumored to be the lake with the most snakes in it...there is now at least one less though, because a large python was our dinner one night. Another thing about the lake is that it expands from about 1,600 square miles to 15,290 and from 3 feet deep to 29 feet deep during rainy season. We got there at the beginning of rainy season so we experienced the dramatic expansion of the lake. When we very first went out to the lake, our boat got stuck because the water was so shallow.
Change is something that characterizes the people on the lake's lives. The people on the lake move their houseboats with the rise and fall of the lake. When the lake is shallow, the boats are tied up to a mooring, which consisted of bamboo stakes. When the lake starts to rise, they pull up the stakes and move their houses and families more inland and tie their houses to the trees. The entire village moves within the span of a few days. This happened multiple times throughout the summer. As the waters literally and figuratively rise, we, as believers, can truly rest in His embrace because He is our constant, our rock that we can cling to. We prayed that all of the villagers would also come to know this security in the Lord in the midst of change.
"My faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior"
So a year has gone by since I first started praying this prayer and I have learned so much about surrender and trusting in the Lord, but I continually pray that God would lead me to where my trust is without borders. Full trust in God is not something that just happens one time and then is easy from that point on. Trusting in the Lord is a daily, sometimes even an hourly, moment by moment thing. I pray this, knowing full well that letting go of control and learning to trust is sometimes a painful and confusing process. It is full of unknowns and that is okay! Trusting does not equal understanding. Proverbs 3:5 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." I always focused on the "trust" part and neglected to see the importance of the "lean not on your own understanding" part until recently. Even though not knowing or understanding exactly what God is doing or where He will take you can be scary, there is such peace when you choose to simply trust and allow God to grow and teach you through the process. Imagine what amazing things can happen when we truly trust Him with our whole lives!
"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
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