Songs about Water & Life on a Lake

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders" 

After living in the middle of a giant lake all summer, songs about water hold a new meaning for me.  Before I even knew where I was going this summer, a beautiful song that sings symbolically about water,"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)", was on repeat on my computer and on repeat in my heart. The bridge of the song says, "Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders".  This was my prayer as I considered applying for a m-trip this summer.

In January, I found out which country I would be going to! For the application, I had to list three preferences of countries and projects.  I had applied to two projects in Thailand and one in the Philippines.  I was surprised to see that the country I got placed in was neither one of those places.  It didn't matter to me though, because I was thrilled for this placement in Cambodia! I just assumed that the projects I applied for had already filled up or something. Fast forward to April, about one month until I left for the summer.  I, for some reason, looked back at my application which I had saved on my computer.  The first thing I see were my preferences, one of which said "Cambodia"---what?!? I definitely applied for two Thailands and one Philippines, but what I saw was the two Thailand projects and the Cambodia project.  I even had to write short essays on why I chose the programs and, sure enough, I wrote "I want to go to the Philippines because..".  I was so confused because there was no way that I could have accidentally wrote the wrong project with the way it was set up.  After trying to think of all the ways that I could have messed it up, I finally came to the conclusion that it wasn't me at all, but had to have been a God thing!

"Take me deeper than feet could ever wander"

I had actually thought the Cambodia trip looked really cool, but I had to narrow it down somehow and my mom said that this project looked scarier than the others. In the back of my mind, I'm thinking, "yeah that's kind of what I want, but maybe I shouldn't." I definitely didn't wander to Cambodia on my own. I was scared, but God took my feet deeper than I could have wandered on my own. I fully believe that God wanted me in Cambodia this past summer and I am so thankful that He brought me there.

"You call me out upon the waters"

Obviously this song is symbolic, but for me and my team, this song was symbolically as well as literally true. God literally called us out to live upon the waters in a floating village this past summer and be a small part in sharing the His story with an unreached people group. We taught English to our new brothers and sisters/translators and tried to set an example for them of what it looks like to follow the Lord on a daily basis even though I think they taught us more than we taught them. They also taught us their language and so much more. Another thing we did a lot of  is prayer paddle. We paddled around the village which is filled with ancestor worship and fear of spirits and prayed for the villagers' salvation. Through this, I learned the power of His name. In the U.S., spiritual warfare is not as obvious because it exists in more subtle forms. In Cambodia, the darkness is very obvious and you can almost feel the heaviness. We prayed with authority knowing that our God is powerful and is the ultimate victor in this story. 

"When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace"

The lake is the biggest fresh body of water in Southeast Asia (I think). It is also rumored to be the lake with the most snakes in it...there is now at least one less though, because a large python was our dinner one night. Another thing about the lake is that it expands from about 1,600 square miles to 15,290 and from 3 feet deep to 29 feet deep during rainy season. We got there at the beginning of rainy season so we experienced the dramatic expansion of the lake. When we very first went out to the lake, our boat got stuck because the water was so shallow.

Change is something that characterizes the people on the lake's lives. The people on the lake move their houseboats with the rise and fall of the lake. When the lake is shallow, the boats are tied up to a mooring, which consisted of bamboo stakes. When the lake starts to rise, they pull up the stakes and move their houses and families more inland and tie their houses to the trees. The entire village moves within the span of a few days. This happened multiple times throughout the summer. As the waters literally and figuratively rise, we, as believers, can truly rest in His embrace because He is our constant, our rock that we can cling to. We prayed that all of the villagers would also come to know this security in the Lord in the midst of change. 

"My faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior" 

So a year has gone by since I first started praying this prayer and I have learned so much about surrender and trusting in the Lord, but I continually pray that God would lead me to where my trust is without borders. Full trust in God is not something that just happens one time and then is easy from that point on. Trusting in the Lord is a daily, sometimes even an hourly, moment by moment thing. I pray this, knowing full well that letting go of control and learning to trust is sometimes a painful and confusing process. It is full of unknowns and that is okay! Trusting does not equal understanding.  Proverbs 3:5 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." I always focused on the "trust" part and neglected to see the importance of the "lean not on your own understanding" part until recently. Even though not knowing or understanding exactly what God is doing or where He will take you can be scary, there is such peace when you choose to simply trust and allow God to grow and teach you through the process. Imagine what amazing things can happen when we truly trust Him with our whole lives!

"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown where feet may fail

And there I find You in the mystery

In oceans deep

My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand

Will be my guide

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your name

Keep my eyes above the waves

My soul will rest in Your embrace

I am Yours and You are mine

One Year Ago...

One year ago today...I was on an airplane in route to one of the greatest adventures in my life thus far: studying abroad in Czech Republic!

I am still in denial that it really has been one year since I began my adventure.  The past 12 months have been absolutely remarkable.  That is not to say that the past 12 months were without rough patches though. People said that studying abroad would be hard and yes, at times it was.  For me, the hardest part about studying abroad, by far, is coming home.  I have seen it called "Post Study Abroad Depression" and it is a real thing!  I certainly did not expect this to happen to me because I was beyond excited to come back and be reunited my family, friends, and country!  Even though I thoroughly enjoyed being home,  a huge piece of my heart was and still is in Europe.  I miss my friends who became family.  I miss walking to the tram stop and using public transportation.  I miss the smells of the brewery down the street from my dorm and the smell of baked goods as I walked through the city center.  I miss not being able to understand the language and getting to use the little bit of Czech I had learned.  I miss every day being an adventure. 

It wasn't easy adjusting back to life here after my incredible almost 5 months in Europe.  Thankfully, my God saw every tear that I cried and desired to heal my broken heart.  The semester before my semester in Czech, He began to prepare me for international ministry.  The Christian organization (CCF) that I am a part of has an international ministry that I did not know much about before my sophomore year.  Fall semester of sophomore year, I began attending Coffeehouse (a casual event on Friday nights for international students) and helping drive international students to Walmart trips on Saturdays.  Through this, I learned a little about the ministry and about who is behind it.  The group who organizes both of these events and more is called International Focus Group (IFG).  IFG is a group of Christian students who share a common goal of ministering to the international students on our campus.  IFG is led by a wonderful couple, Stephanie and Keevin.  I was really interested in being a part of this ministry and was kind of bummed that I had to leave for a semester.  While I was in Czech, I applied and was accepted to be an IFG member for the fall semester when I got back.

God totally knew what He was doing when He started preparing me for international ministry before I even left for Czech Republic.  I have been incredibly blessed through being a part of IFG.  God has used this experience in IFG as a part of my healing process.  Through IFG, I have experienced an awesome Christian community, had discipleship with Stephanie who totally understood and helped me through reverse culture shock, and have gotten to build friendships with really cool people from all over the world! 

IFG! 

International + American students at International Idol 

What I've been learning as of late...
- Wherever you are, every day can be an adventure if you choose to make it one

- Enjoy the present. Don't spend too much time wishing you were still in the past.  If you do, you will miss out on the beautiful blessings of the present.
- Holding on too tight to the past is making the past an idol

- It is good to experience brokenness and allow the Lord to restore you

 The beginning 

My first look at the beautiful country of Czech Republic

First moments in Czech...my friend Natty, who I hadn't seen in 3 years, picked me up from the airport!

& the end

The sun setting on my last night in Czech Republic

At the bus stop with my amazing friends who took me to the bus station (before the tears)

So even though I still miss my time in Czech like crazy and I won't ever be "over it", I am incredibly thankful for the place I am at and the people I am with right now.  I am trying to treasure every moment because I know that this season of my life will too come to an end.  I am also very thankful for the future places and people God will lead me to in the very near future!